Dear Ask A Cop,
I am an officer in a relatively large town in North Texas. I’m coming up on my one-year anniversary in a few weeks, but I’m having some doubts about if this job is for me. During my last rotation on duty, I caught three different child abuse cases. Three child abuse cases in five days! All of the cases were serious cases, with two involving sexual abuse of kids under 9 years of age, and the third involving a 6-year-old being beaten by his step-grandfather with a piece of heavy wire.
These cases are hitting me hard, I can’t sleep and can’t stop thinking about those little kids. This has caused me to seriously reconsider if I want to be a cop or not. These were my first cases of child abuse in the 10 1/2 months I’ve been an officer. I keep thinking, “What if I get three more cases this week? Can I do it?”
Our calls are assigned on a rotation basis, so it was just bad luck that I caught all three of these calls, but I’m still concerned about how I’m going to feel if I catch another case of SAC or AAC (sexual abuse of a child, aggravated assault of child) this upcoming rotation. Any help you can give is appreciated.
First-Year Cop from Texas
Dear First-Year Cop from Texas,
First of all, let me say, your Sergeant should not have allowed one officer to catch three cases of that nature in one rotation. Maybe you guys were short-handed, I don’t know, but that shouldn’t have happened if it could be avoided. Those cases are too in-depth, detailed, and emotionally taxing for one officer to work that many in one rotation.
You say that these were your first cases of children being abused in over 10 months; you should count yourself lucky for that. However, you will be seeing more of these cases if you stay in law enforcement……hopefully not three at a time, but you will be working them.
Ask yourself this question…”If I had only caught one case during that rotation on duty, would it be affecting me like this, or would I be able to work it with no issues?” If your answer is “No, “ I think you will be fine going forward. If the answer is “Yes”, then you’ve got some soul-searching to do, to decide if you want to keep wearing a badge for a living.
Understand this, every single case that you work of a child being abused IS going to affect you in some way. If it didn’t you wouldn’t be a cop in the first place. The key to getting through these cases is to repeatedly remind yourself that you are there to help that little one escape their abuser. You are there to free that child from a living hell. That’s what we do!
These cases are going to stay with you for a long time. They will affect you in some way for a long time. They don’t magically disappear after the paperwork is turned in. In 2002, a gutless coward murdered his wife and daughter in their home. I was one of the first two officers in the house and I was the first to find the woman and child. Sitting here today, I can describe every detail of that house, every detail of the bodies and how they were positioned. The little girl was the exact same age as my daughter. That was 21 years ago.
If you stay in law enforcement, you will learn how to deal with these kinds of horrible cases. The mind finds a way to deal with things that bother us to allow us to survive.
I would strongly recommend that you talk to someone for some counseling since this has affected you so deeply. If your agency doesn’t have a program set up, you can contact Copline. This type of thing is exactly what they are for. It offers complete anonymity and doesn’t cost a cent.
Lastly, if at all possible, never work three cases of child abuse in one rotation again. It’s too much for any officer, be they a rookie or a seasoned vet. Speak with your Sergeant, if she/he is a good leader they will understand and make sure it doesn’t happen to any of the officers under their command again.
Good luck to you and call that Copline!
AAC